Sep 7, 2022
Welcome back to To Hump A Pillow! We're kicking off
Season 4, our 20 episode season with episode #60 — on dating
apps.
When most of us think about dating apps,
we roll our eyes at the thought of what a task that can be. “Dating
apps suck” — a common refrain from most of my clients. I've said
those word myself! What if the app isn’t the problem? What if
you’re the problem?
I’ve always wanted to do an episode
about dating apps, and now I’ve got the data and experience (my own
and from clients) to create meaningful content around this
topic.
In this episode I’ve brought my
boyfriend of 6 months, Mike, to discuss our experiences of dating
apps — the different intentions for getting on dating apps over the
course of our dating journeys, including before we met, our
experience of meeting on Hinge, and how using dating apps felt
after being in long term relationships. Lastly, I’ll walk through
my dating app framework I use with clients who are single, thinking
about dating, new to a relationship or just wanting to explore hook
ups.
Dating App Framework:
- intention: what part of me wants to download a
dating app? what part of me is holding me back from trying dating
apps?
- profile creation: what meaningful and
authentic stuff can I put out there?
- swiping considerations: what parameters do you
have in place for swiping? what red flags are you looking for? what
green flags?
- communications and boundaries: how do want to
protect your time and energy by setting boundaries on
communications? how long do you want to talk on the app until
there's a sense of trust built? when is the right time to meet
up?
This framework is mostly geared toward people with an
anxious-attachment style, historically quick to have sex, and often
attract emotionally immature partners, people that are only
physically attractive (vanity-based dating), or emotionally
unavailable partners.
Coach Ellen Melon
links:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow
Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com
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